PERSONAL COUNSELING : STEP-BY-STEP

PERSONAL COUNSELING : STEP-BY-STEP

by  S.K.SENGUPTA    

 STEP  ONE

COMFORT AND THEN BRIEF THE CLIENT

                          As the client has the first contact with you , make him like you .

Give him a warm smile . Make him comfortable . Serve him tea and a glass of water . Provide him with paper and pencil . Ask him if he needs anything else . Love people and they will readily connect with you .

Let the client know that he has to tell you in detail everything about the area of his life in which he is seeking your help . Promise that you will guard all his secrets and he can trust you as a professional .

Assure the client that he can relate his troubles in any order he likes . There is no right or wrong way . At the end , however , he should feel that he is through and complete .

You also need to tell the client that you will stop him after every little while to sum up what he has related . The client should then confirm that you have

understood him completely . If there is any mistake in understanding , the client should correct you . Correct and complete understanding is the basic requirement for effective counseling .

The client has to be advised that you are like a coach . After you tell him how to live his life powerfully , he must take over the responsibility , implement the guidance , and live his life accordingly for success and happiness .

                                                                

                                                                 

STEP  TWO

CATHARSIS  (  EMOTIONAL  RELEASE  )

                   In step 2 , you stop talking and the client begins to pour out his soul .

Listen from your soul . Listen deep . Pay attention to the body language of your client , the looks in his eyes , the tone of his voice . Deeply understand what your client is going through . Look at his world , and look at it through his eyes .

Keep on asking the client that how he felt in those circumstances . It is not the events , it is the emotional reaction of the client in that situation which defines him and which gives a clue as to what needs to be done to put him back on the right track .

By the time the second step of counseling is over , the patient undergoes an enormous release of pent up emotions and starts feeling much better .

Sum up this phase by summarizing his key problem . Say : “ To sum up , as I understand , you are feeling _______ because ________ , and you don’t know what to do about it . ”

Then move on to Step 3 .

                                                                

STEP  THREE

REALIZATION

 In this phase , you make the client realize where he is going wrong and is refusing to see it eye-in-eye . Here you confront him because you care for him . You make him understand that he alone is responsible for whatever happened in his life , whatever is happening in his life , and whatever will ever happen in his life . Blame game does not help .

Ask him : “ What are you doing , and what are you not doing , which is adding to you problems ? ”

Coach your client in how to deal powerfully with past , present , and future . Coach him also in positive outlook and happy living . Then brief him on how to live with people and circumstances .

Now ask the client : “ What do you want ? ” That will help him to decide his goal .

Now move on to Step 4 .

                                                                 

STEP  FOUR

ACT

                                                                        The goal of the client is his Point B .

His present standing is his Point A . Ask him to study and analyze his Point A . Let him understand the full hard and cold facts of his situation .

Now to get what he wants , he has to plan and act to shift from Point A to Point B .

Now the client needs to understand how to prepare an overall strategic plan to achieve his goal . This has to be a SMART  ( Specific , Measurable , Achievable , Realistic , Time-bound ) plan .

The overall plan then needs to be broken into smaller tactical plans . The tactical plans again have to be divided into easy step-by-step action steps .

The client must now focus on the first action step . Ask him to rehearse the first step mentally and plunge into action .

Action has no substitute .

                             WHERE  TO  GO  FROM  HERE  ? 

To advance your coaching skills to help your clients better , the following could be your next steps to grow :

§        Get some more advanced training on  ‘decision taking’  and  ‘planning action-steps’ .

§        Learn  ‘Creative Visualization’  for working on inner world . It will enrich your own life , deepen the effects of personal counseling , and will add a spiritual dimension to all your work .

§        Attend and observe a live Counselling Session .

HE IS NO MORE

HE  IS  NO  MORE

 by  S. K. SENGUPTA  

“ Sir , there is a bad news . ” The call from Ruchireeka woke me up at 6.30 a.m. “ Sir , Vidur is no more . ”

“ What ?!! ”

“ There was a road accident ….. ”

Two hours later , I was at his home . People were dropping in one-by-one : neighbours , friends , classmates , teachers , relatives  ---  all in disbelief and shock . I sat in a corner . There was little to say for anyone . The body was still in hospital .A photograph of Vidur with a charming smile was silently watching over us .I got lost in his memories .

“ Are you upset ? ” I had asked Vidur once after I had been firm with him in the class for some minor indiscipline . I cannot forget his words , nor the look in his eyes , as he said : “ Sir , I can never be upset with you ! ”

“ Sir , how many marks have I got ? ” Vidur asked me as I had completed my checking , though results were not formally declared . “ You did well Vidur . You are fifth in rank in my paper , though you’ve topped amongst the boys . ” Little incidents like that were flashing across my mind .

Two days ago he came running to me from behind as he saw me in the morning : “ Good morning , sir . ” Two days later the morning brought me his death news . I remembered his heart-warming smile , his wit and his sunny nature which were part of his trade-mark . What I had before me now was only his photograph with a pleasant smile !

“ Vidur . ” “ Yes sir ” , and thus he used to mark his presence in the class during roll-call . His “ Yes sir ” still rings in my ears . I can still call out “ Vidur ” , but …..