EFFECTIVE
PARENTING
Our children are the apples
of our eyes . They are the future of our families . Here we will discuss what
we can do to ensure that they grow into responsible and competent human beings
.
There are six areas which
call for our attention : Extensive Communication , Ongoing Education , Leading
from the front , Discipline , Motivation , and Home-School Bonding . We will
discuss them below .
Extensive Communication : Make friends with your chidren . Listen to them and
see their world as they see it . Don’t force them to become ‘little adults’ and
fit into your world . Encourage them to speak to you and to ask questions
freely . Try to read their concerns and anxieties behind their simple words .
They may ask , “Mumma , d’you love me ?” “Yes , darling , I do !” may not
answer the query . You must wonder why the little one asked that question : of
late maybe you didn’t give enough one-to-one time to the child , or maybe an
undercurrent of sibling-rivalry is coming out .
Ongoing Education : The growing up of a child involves his moral ,
emotional , social , intellectual as well as physical development . Whatever a
child does from a very young age will gradually develop into permanent habits .
So , make him do the right thing from an early age . Don’t allow him to study
in the bed-room with the T.V. on . Let him have a study- room or a suitable
study-corner with comfortable furniture , bright light , agreeable temperature
and serene surroundings . Don’t let him spend his leisure time entirely on T.V.
or Computer games . Ensure that he jumps , runs around and engages in vigorous
physical activities like playing cricket , football or badminton . Teach him
pleasantly whenever you are with him : read stories to him from Mahabharata ,
Ramayana , Panchtantra ; tell him about great men , about history or science or
geography ; tell him about our country , about our world ; or show him the sky
in a clear dark night and tell him about the moon , the sun and the stars ; and
tell him also about principles , human values and God .
Lead from the front : Do what you want your child to do . Stand before
him as an example , so that he can watch you and learn from you . Mummy wakes
up Raju at 5.30
a.m. for he has to catch the 6.30 a.m. school-bus . Raju rubs his eyes and finds his father
snoring comfortably in the warm bed , and he is reluctant to go to school . If
the parents rise at 5.15 a.m. , switch on the light , begin to arrange the school-bag and tiffin ,
put on the music and then wake up Raju , the little boy will find that the
whole world is up and doing , and will go to school in a pleasant state of mind
.
Discipline
: Help your children realize that life goes haywire without discipline . Make
some rules – not more than three or four – rules which are absolutely essential
for the welfare of the kids . Tell them that if they violate the rules , they
will face specific consequences . The punishment has to be heavy but positive ,
like increased hours of study , or withdrawal of some pleasure or permission .
It is very necessary to be consistent and immediate in awarding the punishment
. Any delay or concession in the matter , and the system will fall flat . The
parents of Anita gave her ample freedom , but instructed her to return home
definitely by 7 p.m. One evening
she returned at 7.30 p.m. The parents
remained calm , but told her to return home by 6 p.m. for the next one month . Anita was told in advance
that this would be the punishment if she ever violated the 7 p.m. rule .
Motivate
: Your children are unique . Let them blossom to their full potential without
pressurizing them to become what you want . Assess their liking , their
potential , their aptitude and their inborn talents . Let them follow their own
dreams . It will be easy for you to talk to them in terms of their own passion
, and motivate them into having a high goal and work for that .
Home-School Bonding : Always talk high about the school and education ,
and praise their teachers . This will influence your children to love and enjoy
their studies , and to respect their teachers .
Students , who are regular
and up-to-date , excel in studies . Don’t let your child lag behind . Don’t
take away your child on a holiday when classes are on , and don’t let his
home-work pile-up . If it happens for some unavoidable reason , work with your
child and help him to catch-up with the class as early as possible .
Moreover , join hands with
the school-functionaries . Be warm to the teachers , share feedback with the school
, and discuss how you can help each other in keeping the child on the right
track .
Keeping pace with a growing
child is a difficult task , and it calls for a lot of time , patient listening
and empathy . Give your child more of you , love him , take the help of teachers , and he will
develop into an excellent human being .
( 842 words ) .
The author , Shri
S.K.Sengupta , is a Management Consultant ,
Behavioural
Scientist and Personal Counsellor .He can be contacted at :
E-mail : d2wmvt@gmail.com
d2wd2w@rediffmail.com
Website : www.d2wd2w.com
