INSTANT   EXPERTISE

( In vein of light humour )

A new TIC ( Tongue in Cheek ) Aid for preparing speeches and briefings etc. The invention known as a buzz-phrase generator gives its prime practitioners what amounts to instant expertise on matters pertaining to the Company .

The buzz-phrase generator consists of three columns of buzzwords numbered zero to nine .

Column – 1	Column – 2	Column - 3
0.Integrated	0.Management	0.Options
1.Total	1.Organizational	1.Flexibility
2.Systematized	2.Monitored	2.Capability
3.Parallel	3.Reciprocal	3.Mobility
4.Functional	4.Digital	4.Programming
5.Responsive	5.Logistical	5.Concept
6.Optional	6.Transitional	6.Time-phase
7.Synchronized	7.Incremental	7.Projection
8.Compatible	8.Third generation	8.Hardware
9.Balanced	9.Policy	9.Contingency

The procedure is simple . Think of any three-digit number at random . Then select the corresponding buzzword from each column . Put them together and WHAM ! POW ! ZAP ! You sound just like you know what you’re talking about .

Take for instance the number 257 . Take word two from column 1 , word five from column 2 , and word seven from column 3 . You now have             “ systematized logistical projection”. You don’t know what it means ; but don’t worry , neither do “they” .

Would you prefer “balanced incremental flexibility” , or maybe “integrated transitional contingency”. How about “functional third-generation hardware” and “optional management mobility” . Now that ought to do the trick .

The important thing is that the buzzphrases generator provides the user with the perfect aid for preparing anything on any subject . Automatically you have one thousand different combinations , all of which will give you that proper ring of decisive , progressive , knowledgable authority .

The applications of the buzzphrase generator are literally limitless . Take it home with you and roll off a little “responsive monitored time-phrase” or “compatible organizational capability” into a conversation with wife and kids . It will not only drive them to distraction , but for the first time you’ll enjoy equal standing in the discussion .

At any rate , once you’ve mastered the art of the ringing declaraton and become a connoisseur of convoluted phraseology , no one will ever take exception to your rationale .

With thus broadened etymological horizons , your programmes are assured . No one will have the remotest idea of what you’re talking about , and they’re not about to admit it .