CONFLICT AND STRESS MANAGEMENT ( GLOBALLY BROADCASTED RADIO TALK : COPYRIGHT RESERVED )
by S. K. SENGUPTA
I am holding a glass of water in my hand . If I hold it for
thirty seconds , I will be comfortable . If I hold it for ten minutes , I will
feel tired and uncomfortable . And if I keep on holding the glass like that for
ten hours without a break , my hand will be aching badly and the pain will be
unbearable . Stress is like that . If it lasts for a short while , we can bear
it . If it continues , we start getting exhausted . If it continues to last
over a very very long time , we get thoroughly exhausted , our bodily functions
are disrupted , we develop blood pressure , our cardiac system and immunity
system are affected , and finally we suffer from serious diseases and may even
die in extreme cases .
Stress accumulates in geometric progression , not in
arithmetic progression . So, we must not allow stress to continue . If there is
excessive physical exertion , we must take a break , rest , relax , and sleep .
We will be alright in no time . On the other hand , if there is excessive
mental stress , we must immediately stop all negative thoughts . We must work
for healthy habits . And we must cultivate constructive thoughts , speech , and
action . A very good activity to break mental tension is to take long leisurely
walks . During these walks , we must look at tall buildings , big trees ,
people moving about, and life around in
general . This extroversion brings great relief and counterbalances mental distress and
introversion .
We must manage our stress before it becomes serious . But
before that we must learn how to stop stress in the first place from being
produced . For that we must learn how stress is generated . Stress develops
when we dislike the situation around us . The people and circumstances in our
life can never be entirely as we want them to be . As such , some conflict ,
some stress , is inevitable . There is a beautiful story about it . An artist
was to play Veena before Lord Buddha . Veena is a musical instrument with
strings . The artist was tightening some strings . Lord Buddha asked : “ What
are you doing ? ” The artist replied : “ These strings are loose . They will
not produce music . So , I am tightening them . ” The artist then started
loosening another set of strings . Lord Buddha asked : “ What are you doing now
? ” The artist replied : “ These strings are too tight . They might snap if I
play on them . So, I am loosening them . ” Lord Buddha smiled and said : “ Life
is like that . If there is no stress , there will be no music . And if the
tension is too high , the string might snap . ” So , we must learn how to live
in harmony with circumstances and people , so that we do not generate excessive
conflict and stress in our lives .
Let us see how we can live in harmony with our circumstances
. For that we need to follow three measures . Firstly , we must have a positive
outlook towards our past , present and future . Whatever happened in our past
was for a purpose . It happened to teach us a lesson . We must remember the
lesson and forget the past , because the past is gone forever and it will never
come back . We must not even worry about the future , because we don’t know
what shape it will take . An old man said : “ I am an eighty year old man . I
have suffered great tragedies in my life , most of which never happened . ” We
must plan positively for the future because only then we can build a better
tomorrow . The famous Indian dramatist , Kalidas , said : “ Yesterday is but a
dream , and tomorrow is only a vision . But today well lived makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness , and every tomorrow a vision of hope . ” Lord Krishna
said in Bhagvadgita : “ Whatever has happened has happened for good . Whatever
is happening is also for good . Whatever will happen shall also be good . ”
The second measure is that we should assess our situation .
Whatever we want , we must act to have that . We need to see what options are
available , which option is best , what resources we have , brainstorm to build
a good plan , and then work with a bull-dog determination to make things happen
.
The third measure to deal with our circumstances is to accept
the inevitable . When something happens and we cannot do anything about it , we
must accept it as God’s will . Famous Indian poet Harvansh Rai Bachchan said ;
“ What I want , if that is happening , it is good . What I want , if that is
not happening , it is better . Because then what God wants , that is happening
. And God knows better .” Old Walt Whitman said so wisely : “ Oh , to confront
night , storms , hunger , ridicule , accident , rebuff , as the trees and
animals do . ” There is a discreet
prayer : “ Oh Lord , give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change . Give
me the courage to change whatever I can . And give me the wisdom to know the
difference between the two . ”
So , to be in harmony with circumstances , we must have an
optimistic outlook . We must plan and work to achieve whatever we can . And we
must learn to accept the inevitable with patience and faith in God .
Now , let us see how we can be in harmony with people around
us . For that we must remember what we studied in school : the warmth of Sun is
more powerful than the harsh force of a storm ! We must realize that every
person is different and has different views , wants and desires . Their views ,
wants and desires are unlikely to match with our own views , wants and desires
. So , if we want to avoid conflicts and stress , we must deeply listen and
understand the thoughts , desires and requirements of each other . Instead of
attacking one another , we must learn to cooperate and attack the issues
jointly for a win-win solution . We must decide on a course of action which is
in the best interest of all of us taken together . If we can do that , we will
get along peacefully with people , with a lot of joy , fun and music in our
lives .
So , to have a stress-free life , choose harmony over
conflict in every situation , with people and with circumstances . Maintain
good health , balance extroversion and introversion , have a positive outlook on
life , and don’t permit any stress to continue . Plan and work hard to achieve
whatever you want . And when something bad happens , about which we cannot do
anything , let us learn to bend on our knees , pray to God , and say gracefully:
“ Oh Lord ! Thy will , not mine , will prevail ! ”
( 1311 words ) .
