WE ARE GREATER THAN WE IMAGINE

WE  ARE  GREATER  THAN  WE  IMAGINE

by  S. K. SENGUPTA    

I have in hand a book that turned around the thinking of an entire generation. The book is  Think and Grow Rich  , and  Napoleon Hill  is the author . All thoughts on  achievement  today , and all training courses and books on success philosophy spring from there . It was steel magnate Andrew Carnegie who asked young Napoleon Hill to research and study if there was any definite road-map to success by scrutinizing the lives of the most successful people of their times . Napoleon bought that idea .

He carried out the research over twenty-five years of pains-

taking efforts , staking everything he had , his career , his

financial fate and the welfare of his family . He ended up

being a multi-millionaire himself and his name became a

synonym for success all over the globe . What the universe

earned from his  Law of Success  was far more than what

he gained himself .

Does this real story mean anything to you ? Can it help you in the battles of your own life ? Use your mind , and you may find the answer to all your own struggles in that little story .

D’you remember the Wright Brothers ? After a                                                     heart-rending struggle of several years , all they

had to show to the world was a series of failures .

Everyone thought that their idea was crazy . How

could a heavy machine float in air with several

persons sitting inside it ?! Do we still think the

same way ? No one of us can thank Wright Brothers

enough today for their unyielding spirits .

The secret of creating whatever we want for ourselves is there in this story . We can learn and use it if we really want to .

An airplane developed a snag and

crash-landed on a railway-track near

a small village in India several years

ago . The crew and passengers were

alive but were badly injured . Before

the villagers could begin any rescue

operation , they realized that a train

was fast approaching the airplane lying on the track . No one knew what to do . Some tried to raise their hands and shout . It had no effect . As everyone watched helplessly , a young girl swiftly dipped a cloth-piece in kerosene , put it on a bamboo , lighted it and ran to signal the train to stop . It worked . The train came to a screeching halt only a few feet away from the damaged airplane .

Ain’t we greater than any emergency and disaster ? Can’t we unleash the vast abilities which are sleeping within us ?

A young American lady with a baby

in arms was hit by a speeding car .The

lady was thrown apart and the car came

to rest with the baby lying under one

of its tyres . The lady got up , saw the

baby , gave a deafening cry as she ran

upto the car , and then holding the tyre ,

screaming with all her might , she lifted

the car by several inches .

This is a real incident . Emergency turned the lady into a superwoman . When we focus our entire existence and stake everything we have on one point , we often perform miracles !

“The greatest weapon on this earth is the human soul on fire .” We are greater than we imagine !

QUESTIONS FREQUENTLY ASKED IN AN INTERVIEW

1.     What does success mean to you ?

2.     What are your short-term and long-term goals ?

3.     What makes you suitable for this career ?

4.     What do you think about the college where you studied ?

5.     What interests you most about a management career ?

6.     When someone is angry on you , how do you handle the situation ?

7.     What makes you angry ?

8.     What books you read ?

9.     How do you handle criticism ?

10. How do you handle tension ?

11. What are your weaknesses ?

12. What are your hobbies and pastimes ?

13. What are your strengths ?

14. What are the things that you find difficult to do ?

15. Describe a situation where you could not achieve your goal .

16. What do your parents do ?

17. Do you trust others easily ?

18. Are you a flexible person ?

19. Do you have any disability ?

20. How do you deal with change ?

21. What extra-curricular activities were you involved in ?

22. What five adjectives describe you best ?

23. What does failure mean to you ?

24. What kind of decisions are most difficult for you ?

25. What do you understand by good communication ?

26. What activities do you enjoy most ?

27. Which subjects you liked most ?

28. Which subjects you liked least ?

29. Give an example of a problem you faced and how you solved it .

30. What have you learnt in life which will help you most in your career ?

31. How would you define leadership ?

32. What accomplishments have given you the most satisfaction in your life ?

33. Do you think money is the most important thing in life ?

34. What makes a good team and a good team-member and a good team-leader ?

35. What kind of movies do you like ?

VISION , MISSION , AND VALUES OF " DARE TO WIN "

                                      DARE TO WIN  

                                                  Founded on April 14, 2002 

                                                                                                                                                                      

Founding Dare To Win has been the beginning of my dream journey - something I always wanted to do - the joy of my life . I left a high post in a top organization to start this , and I am happy that I did so . I have miles to go to reach where I want to . If God is with me , I will reach there . Meanwhile , the journey itself is very pleasant !

OUR VISION : To enroll , empower , and enjoin people to work in team to build a better world .

OUR MISSION : Training and galvanizing people to come together , plan together , and work together to achieve worthwhile projects .

OUR VALUES : Assertiveness , Challenge , Commitment , Creativity , Faith , Generousity , Integrity , Righteousness , Sacrifice , and Trustworthiness .

Website : www.d2wd2w.com 

CONFLICT AND STRESS MANAGEMENT ( GLOBALLY BROADCASTED RADIO TALK : COPYRIGHT RESERVED )

                CONFLICT  AND  STRESS  MANAGEMENT                                      ( GLOBALLY BROADCASTED RADIO TALK : COPYRIGHT RESERVED )

                                                             by  S. K. SENGUPTA

I am holding a glass of water in my hand . If I hold it for thirty seconds , I will be comfortable . If I hold it for ten minutes , I will feel tired and uncomfortable . And if I keep on holding the glass like that for ten hours without a break , my hand will be aching badly and the pain will be unbearable . Stress is like that . If it lasts for a short while , we can bear it . If it continues , we start getting exhausted . If it continues to last over a very very long time , we get thoroughly exhausted , our bodily functions are disrupted , we develop blood pressure , our cardiac system and immunity system are affected , and finally we suffer from serious diseases and may even die in extreme cases .

Stress accumulates in geometric progression , not in arithmetic progression . So, we must not allow stress to continue . If there is excessive physical exertion , we must take a break , rest , relax , and sleep . We will be alright in no time . On the other hand , if there is excessive mental stress , we must immediately stop all negative thoughts . We must work for healthy habits . And we must cultivate constructive thoughts , speech , and action . A very good activity to break mental tension is to take long leisurely walks . During these walks , we must look at tall buildings , big trees , people moving  about, and life around in general . This extroversion brings great relief  and counterbalances mental distress and introversion .

We must manage our stress before it becomes serious . But before that we must learn how to stop stress in the first place from being produced . For that we must learn how stress is generated . Stress develops when we dislike the situation around us . The people and circumstances in our life can never be entirely as we want them to be . As such , some conflict , some stress , is inevitable . There is a beautiful story about it . An artist was to play Veena before Lord Buddha . Veena is a musical instrument with strings . The artist was tightening some strings . Lord Buddha asked : “ What are you doing ? ” The artist replied : “ These strings are loose . They will not produce music . So , I am tightening them . ” The artist then started loosening another set of strings . Lord Buddha asked : “ What are you doing now ? ” The artist replied : “ These strings are too tight . They might snap if I play on them . So, I am loosening them . ” Lord Buddha smiled and said : “ Life is like that . If there is no stress , there will be no music . And if the tension is too high , the string might snap . ” So , we must learn how to live in harmony with circumstances and people , so that we do not generate excessive conflict and stress in our lives . 

Let us see how we can live in harmony with our circumstances . For that we need to follow three measures . Firstly , we must have a positive outlook towards our past , present and future . Whatever happened in our past was for a purpose . It happened to teach us a lesson . We must remember the lesson and forget the past , because the past is gone forever and it will never come back . We must not even worry about the future , because we don’t know what shape it will take . An old man said : “ I am an eighty year old man . I have suffered great tragedies in my life , most of which never happened . ” We must plan positively for the future because only then we can build a better tomorrow . The famous Indian dramatist , Kalidas , said : “ Yesterday is but a dream , and tomorrow is only a vision . But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness , and every tomorrow a vision of hope . ” Lord Krishna said in Bhagvadgita : “ Whatever has happened has happened for good . Whatever is happening is also for good . Whatever will happen shall also be good . ”

The second measure is that we should assess our situation . Whatever we want , we must act to have that . We need to see what options are available , which option is best , what resources we have , brainstorm to build a good plan , and then work with a bull-dog determination to make things happen .

The third measure to deal with our circumstances is to accept the inevitable . When something happens and we cannot do anything about it , we must accept it as God’s will . Famous Indian poet Harvansh Rai Bachchan said ; “ What I want , if that is happening , it is good . What I want , if that is not happening , it is better . Because then what God wants , that is happening . And God knows better .” Old Walt Whitman said so wisely : “ Oh , to confront night , storms , hunger , ridicule , accident , rebuff , as the trees and animals do . ”  There is a discreet prayer : “ Oh Lord , give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change . Give me the courage to change whatever I can . And give me the wisdom to know the difference between the two . ”

So , to be in harmony with circumstances , we must have an optimistic outlook . We must plan and work to achieve whatever we can . And we must learn to accept the inevitable with patience and faith in God .

Now , let us see how we can be in harmony with people around us . For that we must remember what we studied in school : the warmth of Sun is more powerful than the harsh force of a storm ! We must realize that every person is different and has different views , wants and desires . Their views , wants and desires are unlikely to match with our own views , wants and desires . So , if we want to avoid conflicts and stress , we must deeply listen and understand the thoughts , desires and requirements of each other . Instead of attacking one another , we must learn to cooperate and attack the issues jointly for a win-win solution . We must decide on a course of action which is in the best interest of all of us taken together . If we can do that , we will get along peacefully with people , with a lot of joy , fun and music in our lives .

So , to have a stress-free life , choose harmony over conflict in every situation , with people and with circumstances . Maintain good health , balance extroversion and introversion , have a positive outlook on life , and don’t permit any stress to continue . Plan and work hard to achieve whatever you want . And when something bad happens , about which we cannot do anything , let us learn to bend on our knees , pray to God , and say gracefully: “ Oh Lord ! Thy will , not mine , will prevail ! ”

                                                                                                                     ( 1311 words ) . 

SUGGESTIONS SENT TO JUSTICE VERMA COMMITTEE FOR THEIR DUE CONSIDERATION 

MESSAGE FOR : Justice Verma Committee

MESSAGE FROM : S.K.Sengupta .

SENT : 31st Decmber , 2012 . 12:10 p.m.

1. The lower rung police has to deal so much with criminals , that their behaviour becomes rough and aggressive . They habitually fail to recognize that their job requires to deal differently with criminals and differently with general public who basically approach them for help . When an aggrieved girl approaches a police station for support , she desperately needs the uniformed government servants to behave like a friend and not like a foe . Her first requirement at that moment is an immediate courteous attention and may I say even emotional support . The police personnel must be trained to this effect , because this is the moment of first contact of an aggrieved citizen with authority after the crime . It must not leave a bad taste in mouth !
2. Lodging an FIR is a citizen's right . It must not be denied by authorities . Lodging an FIR should not be the discretion of the police personnel , it must be obligatory for them .
3. CCTV cameras should be placed in every police station , and ensured that the recordings of the cameras cannot be tampered with . Action must be taken against the police personnel who misbehave with public or refuse to lodge FIR .
4. The Police as well as the Judiciary must work within reasonable time-frame .
5. The victim-girl should not suffer further loss of honour while seeking justice , neither while dealing with police nor in courts ( which we would like to call our temples of justice ) .
6. Legislation needs to be amended to act as a deterrent to crime considering the ground realities of crime against women in India today ( not forgetting the KHAPs ) . Eve-teasing , vulgar comments , lewd gestures , unwelcome touching , molestation etc. should be severely punishable .
7. Necessary Police Reforms and Judiciary Reforms need to be implemented as soon as possible . Accordingly recruitment of more police personnel , female police personnel , their end-result-oriented training , patrolling , security arrangements and other brass-track bandobast has to be taken care of without losing any further time .

              

MON AMI

                                                                   MON  AMI

                                          by  S. K. SENGUPTA 

The small island of Mauritius looked beautiful in the Indian Ocean , as the plane began to encircle it to land on the Plaisance Airport . Looking through the window , Anita fastened the seat-belt . She was here on a brief trip to meet her close friend Himla .

“Hi!” Himla was all smiles as she kissed and embraced Anita . “ How long is your stay , you did not mention .”

“ A long time . Five days .”

“ Not very long . But you can see the island well . And I’m on leave . So , we can have a great time .”

As the car moved along the wide streets , the green open fields and the jagged mountains presented a captivating sight .

“ I’ve cooked octopuss and tortoise meat for you .”

“ Aha !” Anita chuckled .

“ We will be home by 9 AM . Freshen up a little . We will then pack-up our lunch and leave for Mon Choisy Beach .”

Anita sipped through the orange juice . “ It’s a beautiful restaurant” , she remarked as she looked at the enchanting ocean-waves breaking on the Mon Choisy Beach .

“ You wanted to meet Monami , Anita . I have invited him here .”

“ Oh ! yeah . I have heard so much about him .” Anita was excited .

“ You know , Anita , Monami is not his real name . He is a trainer in applied psychology . He gives simple tips . If you follow them , they prove to be very powerful .So , friends call him Monami . Mon Ami is a French expression .It means My Friend .”

“ Sounds like a great guy , Himla . I would like to have some tips from him.”

“ There he comes ,” Himla exclaimed . “ Talk of him and …..”

Anita turned around to look . A tall , handsome man in his early fifties was approaching them.

“ Hi Himla !”

“ Hi Monami ! Meet my friend Anita .”

“ Hi !”

“ Hi ! I am so excited to meet you .” Anita shok hands with him .

“ Hi Anita ! Himla told me about you . I came here just to meet you . In fact I’m leaving for London tonight . So now was the only time that I could meet you .”

“ I heard so much about you from Himla . You give simple tips to people which go a long way to improve their lives . In fact , I’m looking for some such tips from you .”

Monami smiled . “ Maybe my tips were useful for Himla , and she is praising me out of all proportion . All the same , Anita , what’s your occupation ?”

Himla meanwhile called the waiter and ordered an orange juice for Monami. “Anything to eat ?”

“ No . Thanks Himla .”

“ Okay .” The waiter went away . Himla paused and then spoke up ,                

 “ Monami , Anita is a business person . She is also active with some social groups . She has to keep on interacting with a stream of people .”

“ Fine .” Monami looked straight into the eyes of Anita . “You want some tips ?! Here it is . Ask two questions to as many people as you can .”

Anita asked searchingly , “ What are the two questions ?”

“ Ask what do they admire in you , and ask what do they dislike in you .”

“ Okay . What more ? Is that all ?”

“ Yeah , that’s all !”

“ How’s it great ?”

“ Try it . You’ll know it .”

Anita looked puzzled . Himla smiled and addressed Anita , “ That’s  Monami ! His tips sound too simple to be of any good use . But they are gunpowder .”

Meanwhile the boy served orange juice . Monami lifted the glass . The expression on his face was as profound and unfathomable as the Indian Ocean spread before their eyes .”

Anita still looked perplexed . “ But , Monami people may not tell me frankly about my weaknesses on my face .”

“Ensure that .”

“ How ?”

“ Tell them that you have specially selected them for your growth . Tell them to be blunt and open with you . Tell them that you are asking for their frank comments and you won’t be upset to hear the truth . Tell them that you will be grateful to them if they take courage in hand and tell you all about your weaknesses . Tell them to take their time and think before giving their frank and complete replies .”

Anita looked thoughtful .

Monami continued : “ It is not an easy exercise . It may shock you and may rock your entire world . You will learn much about yourself that you are not aware of .”

“ How should I use the feedback ?”

“ Don’t work on it . Let it work on you !” Monami gave a deep look to

 Anita . “ And after the interview is over , thank the person who has given you the feedback . Let him know that you did not mind his frank and courageous views . In fact , tell him again that you are grateful to him .”

The brief , straight words of Monami were having a profound hold on Anita.

“ I have to go now . I have to catch the evening flight .”

“ Thanks for your words , and that you came to meet me .” Anita shook hands with Monami with a grateful look . Himla and Anita waved as Monami slowly walked away .

Five days later Anita was at the airport for her return-journey . “Remember Monami ?” Himla asked smilingly .

“ Yeah , I’m serious . I’ll try out whatever he said .”

“ Yes , do that . And let me know what happens .”

“ There’s time for the flight ,” Anita said . “ Why don’t I begin with you ?”

“ What d’you mean ? You want me to answer your two questions ?”

“ Yes , give me a straight talk . What d’you like in me ?”

“ You are so pretty , lovable and friendly . You are a great friend , very reliable . And you are very committed to people and your work . That makes you a great person .”

“ Thanks . You make me feel great .” Anita took a long breath . “ And what do you hate in me ?”

“ You are very argumentative and loud-mouthed at times . You become rigid on issues and antagonize people . Often you hurt people with rude remarks . I guess that’s the only thing which I would like you to give up .”

Anita was disturbed . She never thought she is that way . Himla’s words pierced through her and made her visibly uneasy . She had not realized that the exercise would really shake her up . But she knew she owed thanks to Himla . “ Thanks Himla . It really takes courage to give frank comments which you did for my good . Thanks to you . Thanks to Monami .”

Soon there was a call for the passengers . Himla and Anita hugged each other .

As Anita headed for the aircraft , the words of Himla were ringing in her ears : “ You are friendly , lovable , pretty , reliable and committed . But you are argumentative , loud-mouthed , rigid and rude at times .” Anita shook her head as she remembered the words of Monami : “ Don’t work on the feedback , let it work on you .” It was indeed working on her , so she thought .

As the plane took off , Anita looked down through the window . The island below looked beautiful .

Anita was still thinking of Monami . 

The author , Shri S.K.Sengupta , is a Management Consultant ,

Behavioural Scientist and Personal Counsellor .He can be contacted at :

Mobile : 9810002413 .

E-mail : d2wd2w@rediffmail.com

Website : www.d2wd2w.com

EFFECTIVE  PARENTING

Our children are the apples of our eyes . They are the future of our families . Here we will discuss what we can do to ensure that they grow into responsible and competent human beings .

There are six areas which call for our attention : Extensive Communication , Ongoing Education , Leading from the front , Discipline , Motivation , and Home-School Bonding . We will discuss them below .

Extensive Communication : Make friends with your chidren . Listen to them and see their world as they see it . Don’t force them to become ‘little adults’ and fit into your world . Encourage them to speak to you and to ask questions freely . Try to read their concerns and anxieties behind their simple words . They may ask , “Mumma , d’you love me ?” “Yes , darling , I do !” may not answer the query . You must wonder why the little one asked that question : of late maybe you didn’t give enough one-to-one time to the child , or maybe an undercurrent of sibling-rivalry is coming out .

Ongoing Education : The growing up of a child involves his moral , emotional , social , intellectual as well as physical development . Whatever a child does from a very young age will gradually develop into permanent habits . So , make him do the right thing from an early age . Don’t allow him to study in the bed-room with the T.V. on . Let him have a study- room or a suitable study-corner with comfortable furniture , bright light , agreeable temperature and serene surroundings . Don’t let him spend his leisure time entirely on T.V. or Computer games . Ensure that he jumps , runs around and engages in vigorous physical activities like playing cricket , football or badminton . Teach him pleasantly whenever you are with him : read stories to him from Mahabharata , Ramayana , Panchtantra ; tell him about great men , about history or science or geography ; tell him about our country , about our world ; or show him the sky in a clear dark night and tell him about the moon , the sun and the stars ; and tell him also about principles , human values and God .

Lead from the front : Do what you want your child to do . Stand before him as an example , so that he can watch you and learn from you . Mummy wakes up Raju at 5.30 a.m. for he has to catch the 6.30 a.m. school-bus . Raju rubs his eyes and finds his father snoring comfortably in the warm bed , and he is reluctant to go to school . If the parents rise at 5.15 a.m. , switch on the light , begin to arrange the school-bag and tiffin , put on the music and then wake up Raju , the little boy will find that the whole world is up and doing , and will go to school in a pleasant state of mind .

Discipline : Help your children realize that life goes haywire without discipline . Make some rules – not more than three or four – rules which are absolutely essential for the welfare of the kids . Tell them that if they violate the rules , they will face specific consequences . The punishment has to be heavy but positive , like increased hours of study , or withdrawal of some pleasure or permission . It is very necessary to be consistent and immediate in awarding the punishment . Any delay or concession in the matter , and the system will fall flat . The parents of Anita gave her ample freedom , but instructed her to return home definitely by 7 p.m. One evening she returned at 7.30 p.m. The parents remained calm , but told her to return home by 6 p.m. for the next one month . Anita was told in advance that this would be the punishment if she ever violated the 7 p.m. rule .

Motivate : Your children are unique . Let them blossom to their full potential without pressurizing them to become what you want . Assess their liking , their potential , their aptitude and their inborn talents . Let them follow their own dreams . It will be easy for you to talk to them in terms of their own passion , and motivate them into having a high goal and work for that .

Home-School Bonding : Always talk high about the school and education , and praise their teachers . This will influence your children to love and enjoy their studies , and to respect their teachers .

Students , who are regular and up-to-date , excel in studies . Don’t let your child lag behind . Don’t take away your child on a holiday when classes are on , and don’t let his home-work pile-up . If it happens for some unavoidable reason , work with your child and help him to catch-up with the class as early as possible .

Moreover , join hands with the school-functionaries . Be warm to the teachers , share feedback with the school , and discuss how you can help each other in keeping the child on the right track .

Keeping pace with a growing child is a difficult task , and it calls for a lot of time , patient listening and empathy . Give your child more of you , love  him , take the help of teachers , and he will develop into an excellent human being .

                                                                                             ( 842 words ) .

The author , Shri S.K.Sengupta , is a Management Consultant ,

Behavioural Scientist and Personal Counsellor .He can be contacted at :

Mobile : 9810002413 .

E-mail :  d2wmvt@gmail.com

d2wd2w@rediffmail.com

Website : www.d2wd2w.com